day 4

Hay. Ayon. Okay naman ako sa school. Masaya ako kasi nalilibang kahit papaano. Tinatawagan ko pa din siya sumasagot sya kaso wala na talagang laman ung pagsasalita niya. Sakit. Para kong tanga tinatawagan ko pa din sya. Di ko mapigilan eh. Di ko alam bakit hindi ko maresist. Ah tang ina eto nanaman umiiyak nanaman ako. Hay. Naman kaso tong iyak na to ayaw paawat eh. Hay. Pagod at nasasaktan din ako pero bat parang ayaw ko pang tumigil. Hay andrea gising give up na siya ikaw nalang lumalaban eh. tama na :(

Posted July 4, 2014 with 2 notes  

Puta lang ang aga pagmulat ng mata ko umiiyak na ko. Ah Lord bat ganito pinipigilan ko naman wag siya kausapin eh. Sorry na umaasa pa kasi ako eh. Umaasa pa ko talaga. Sorry kung okay ka na ako kasi di pa. Bat ganon bat parang ayaw na talaga niya subukan. Hay. Sakit sa dibdib. Bat ganon kasi ang unfair bay parang di siya nasasaktan bat ako lang yata. Bat ganon ang dali para sakanyang iwasan ako please di ko maintindihan pa din at di pa ko naliliwanagan sa lahat. Di ko alam bat natapos, bat napagod. Ano bang ginawa ko :’(

Posted July 3, 2014 with 3 notes  

No more hugs, kisses, cuddles, surprises, late night phone calls, good morning and good night messages, daily reminders, clingy, fights, playmate, piggy, skype till midnight, holding hands, teasing, unexpected hugs, monthsaries, anniversaries, gifts, dates, flowers, couple things, sleep buddy, life sized pillow, staring eye to eye, silence between us, i love yous, i miss yous, i hate yous, loose shirts, hankys, jealousy, selfishness, dreams for future, promises.. and us..

Posted July 3, 2014 with 2 notes  
  • *unknown number*
  • Unknown: Ganda nung boses mo nung debut ni alyzza. Na lss ako sa all of me mo nakakainlove.
Posted July 3, 2014 with 1 note  

Dito ko nalang ibinubuhos lahat kasi dito alam ko di niya mababasa. Ayaw ko na kasi iparamdam sakanya ung sakit na nararamdaman ko kasi sasabihin niya nagdadrama ako. Hay. Sana ganon kadali magmove on…

Posted July 3, 2014 with 5 notes  

Ang hirap magpretend na okay ka pero kailangan kasi para masanay ka na.

Posted July 3, 2014 with 5 notes  

Bitter ako. Sa lahat ng kasweetan na nakikita ko. Lagi kasi nasasabi na “We used to be like that.” Tapos sasabihin ng friends ko “Okay lang yan ano ka ba lilipas din yan.” Ang hirap. Lalo pagnakakakita ako ng taga CEU at FEU na magcouple. Ah fuck kill me now. Magaling lang ako magdala pero deep inside ang sakit. Di lang ako ung madrama sa tropa ung tipong dinadala ko sa school ung sarili kong problema. Hay. Kung marerealize lang niya kung gano kalaking damage ang nagawa niya sakin. :(

Posted July 3, 2014 with 4 notes  
  • Blockmate before nakasalubong ko.
  • Siya: wait andrea, iba aura mo ah bat gumaganda ka yata blooming? Wag kana nag gaglasses promise ang ganda mo ngayon.
  • Ako: nasaktan eh.
Posted July 3, 2014 with 4 notes  
day 3

Woke up with a text message. Di ko na inexpect na siya ung nagtext, at hindi nga talaga sya. Nakakapanibago kasi no more good morning calls and messages. I dont use my phone as often as before. From the morning I woke till I prepared for school, nasa kama lang phone ko. I didnt bother to charge it na nga eh. Nakatulog ako kagabi without goodnight messages (well di na din ak nageexpect). Ngayon ito blog blog. Di ko pa pala naaalis picture namin pati blog title di ko pa naayos. He seems so fine naman I guess. I dont expect him to care kasi siya na ung tumapos. Naghabol ako pero it didn’t change the fact that he already leave. Im happy pag madaming kasama pero when Im alone naiiyak nalang ako. Eto nagboblog ako break kasi namin. Hay pano ba magmove on? :’(

Posted July 3, 2014 with 5 notes  

I know its not just him but its I also who made mistakes and disappointments in our relationship. No matter how hard I tried to save everything, it didn’t work anymore. It hurts me so much and everytime I think that we ended that way. That we separate ways, without clearing things. I already believed that he’s the one, but now.. he’s used to be the one. Sakit. It’s like im being stabbed directly on my chest, airways constricting, blood vessels freeze and the feeling thay Im shattering into small pieces. Why does it feel like this? How can I forget someone who made me someone now? How can I make it everyday? I don’t know how to stand on my own for now. Im so dumped because I loved you so much that i cant imagine that we’re over

Posted July 1, 2014 with 4 notes  
1st morning na wala na talaga

Kagabi talaga natapos.. he gave up. Alam ko kasalanan ko. Don’t want to make storiesn. It would be difficult for me to hide the pain, to stop the tears from falling. Fresh na fresh pa. What hurts the most is that we ended because of small things. Hay. Andrea iiyak ka nanaman eh tama na. Ikaw naman nag 1st move binigyan mo sya ng chance wala talaga napagod na daw sya eh wag kana umasa :(

Posted June 30, 2014 with 6 notes  

Tapos na… kailangan ko na mag move on. Kailangan ko ng tanggapin na di na magiging okay. Na madaming promises ang nasira. Sabi nila intay ako mga 1 week baka daw bumalik pero feel ko di na. Di nga niya ko pinigilan eh bat pa siya babalik? Alam ko nagkulang ako. Gusto ko lang naman maramdaman lahat ng pinangako niya. Masyado siyang natakot magrisk. Siguro di talaga kami, baka may nakalaan para samin. Di madali alam ko sana lang kayanin ko ung bawat araw na wala ka na at unti unti kong matanggap na wala na. Wala na lahat. Minahal kita, at kailanman hindi na mawawala yun.

Posted June 29, 2014 with 3 notes  
Plans when I go back to Manila

· Kumain ng kumain ng mga namiss kong pagkain.
· Manood ng Maleficient at TFIOS
· Buy some stuffs.

“Please, umayos kana. Nahihirapan na ko ikaw nalang meron ako.”
Posted May 31, 2014 with 6 notes   #me to my ukulele,

I love it when someone remembers me in the middle of the night. The moment I crosses his mind before he sleeps, that’s so…

Posted May 30, 2014 with 3 notes